How to calm a screaming baby

The title of this article might be slightly misleading - this isn't my advice to give to other people to help calm their babies. Oh no, quite the opposite; I'm actually looking for tips on how I can calm my own screaming child.

As with any baby, it is incredibly hard to know why they are crying, as they can't tell us in words. When a baby screams we naturally check their nappy, see if they are hungry or too hot or too cold, and try playing with them to calm them down. If all of this fails, what else can we do?

The current problem in our family life is that Lydia - now 6 and 1/2 months old - is going through a phase where she cries (that soon escalate into screams) whenever she is left on her own, or even when we are right next to her but not directly interacting with her.

This phase has lasted over a month now, and is incredibly tiring as we have to keep picking her up to calm her down, meaning we struggle to get on with any other jobs (such as housework or entertaining guests).

I'm well aware from advice given by our families and friends that every baby goes through this phase, but I haven't yet had any advice on how to deal with this phase. Ok, I go to work during the day Monday to Friday to at least I have a "break", but my poor wife Christelle is at home all day trying to cope with a baby who cries every time she is left to play on her own down or Christelle leaves the room. This is naturally very stressful for her, and we haven't yet found a way of calming Lydia down successfully.

When I get home from work I look after Lydia, playing with her and sitting next to her on her playmat to keep her company while she interacts with her toys. This allows my Christelle some time to recover, but it doesn't really solve the problem of getting Lydia to calm down on her own when we are not with her.

I tried Googling this topic for some advice but found only mothering websites where the women were boasting about how their baby plays by themselves, which was really not what I wanted to read. Thanks for nothing, proud mummies.

Lydia has a number of noisy, flashing toys that she can interact with, but this often only calms her for around 10 minutes at a time, and sometimes not even that. Aside from carry her everywhere with us, I'm really stumped for ways of getting her to play on her own without screaming at the fact that she isn't in our arms.

So, I'm putting a call out for any advice on how we can cope with this phase in Lydia's development. Any tips, hints or suggestions would be hugely appreciated and any such advice that turns out to be successful would earn you our eternal gratitude.

Sit Ups

Last night Lydia did something that really surprised us, something totally unexpected yet an inevitable part of human baby development: she sat up by herself.

Christelle had been playing with Lydia on the sofa and noticed that she wanted us to make her sit up (as she very often does), probably so that she could see more of what is going on around her. Lydia has always been a very curious baby in this respect, and often gets annoyed and irritable when laying down - I think this is because she is worried she will miss something.

Anyway, Chris said to Lydia, "If you want to sit up, you will have to do it yourself". I then served dinner (a nice chilli con carne that could have done with being a bit spicier) and we started eating. All of a sudden I heard Chris give out a yelp of surprise - I looked up and was amazed to see Lydia sitting up next to Chris. It was probably just coincidence that she did this after Chris challenged her to do it, but even so it really was remarkable.

My cheeky little monkey

She had a kind of blank, "I do this all the time" look on her face, which I imagined was her way of showing us that it's no big deal to be sitting up. For us it was such a surprise to see our little baby, who marks her first six months of being in the outside world this Friday, sitting up through her own volition. It serves as yet another reminder that Lydia is growing up.

I love seeing her develop and learn new things, but part of me is worried that it is all happening too quickly. I look back at the past six months that have positively flown by and I wonder where the time went. I won't glamourise it and say it has been easy; we have had more than our fair share of tantrums, sickness and other tough moments. But they all pale away compared to the happy moments when Lydia began to smile, to laugh, to rollover, to discover her feet and her hands. She even plays "peekaboo" with us, showing that there is intelligence behind those beautiful blue eyes.

My little baby will be a toddler before we know it...

Another year goes past...

It only seems like yesterday that I was desperately cramming all my possessions into my tiny Peugeot 106 - like playing a real-life version of Tetris - and setting off on what was destined to be the biggest adventure of my life so far.

In reality it has now been more than two years since I left England.

These last two years might have absolutely flown by, but when I look back over all that has happened during this time gives me an appreciation of just how much my life has changed since I boarded that ferry: I have lived in three different apartments, bought a new car, found a job I enjoy and seen many, many beautiful things. But above all that, the biggest and happiest change was the birth of my daughter Lydia, and watching her grow a little more (both in size and in character) with each passing day.

I only realised this morning that my two-years-in-Swiss anniversary had just gone, and that prompted me to read through what I wrote this time one year ago about my first year in Switzerland (see my blog entry "12 Months Later"). To be honest, I still feel the same about everything I wrote. For example, I'm still a bit annoyed about the shops not being open on Sundays, I still hate Swiss TV adverts and I still believe Switzerland is not that expensive when you live there. Granted, with the current exchange rate it's not going to attract the more stingy tourists, but for those of us lucky enough to live here it really isn't too bad.

Having read through what I wrote about my first twelve months here, I thought I would offer up a few more thoughts on what life is like in Switzerland, should anyone else look to follow in my footsteps, as well as some thoughts on life in general.

Penguins!

Here Pingu, have a fish

For my birthday last year my parents-in-law gave me a unique opportunity - to feed the penguins at the Paradise Wildlife Park in Broxbourne, England. Those of you who don't know me might not know that penguins are my absolute favourite animal in the whole world, so this experience was something I was truly looking forward to.

I was made to wait for it though. I had booked the experience for last summer, but unfortunately we were informed by the people at Paradise Wildlife Park that they had to close the penguin enclosure for maintenance, so my experience would have to be re-scheduled at a later date. So, I rebooked it for this summer, after the wedding of my brother James and his new wife Kelly (see my last blog, "Congratulations James & Kelly").

Congratulations James & Kelly

Following on from my last blog, we all headed over to England for the wedding of my brother James and his fiancée Kelly.


The bride and groom

 It was a fantastic day that everyone seemed to really enjoy. The ceremony at Sopwell House in St. Albans was both beautiful and humorous, and even the reading I did ("Blessing for a marriage") went off without a hitch.

The aperitif after the ceremony was great, with delicious amuse bouches and champagne (or Pimms for the more traditional English-types). It was interesting to go from the ceremony room to the conservatory and veranda where the aperitif was held as the corridor between the two is lined with signed football shirts in frames.

It turns out the Sopwell House has been used to host various international football teams over the years (including a number of England squads), with the players relaxing in the luxury rooms and making full use of the spa treatments.

Fortunately, the weather held out for the whole day, as it was cloudy with some sunny patches but absolutely no rain (amazingly for an English wedding!). It meant the happy couple were able to take the wedding photos outside in the lovely gardens of the house.

Thoughts on being a Dad

It's now two months since Lydia was born. Two months since the day I became a father and my life was changed forever. The day I began a new journey that promised to test my resolve and push me to the very edge of my limits, bringing me love, anxiety, stress and delight in equal measures.

A happy, 2 month old baby

A lot has happened in those two months, as I'm sure you can imagine. I, along with my wife, have had the pleasure of watching our little girl grow in both size and in character, already going from a helpless newborn to a smiling, cheerful little lady who knows how to get what she wants from us. Seeing this growth has been amazing, and prompted me to reflect on what we have experienced and learnt from the beginning of our new life as a family, which is the goal of this blog entry.

Here is a list of some of the things I have learnt about the responsibilities and rewards of fatherhood.

Funny Faces

Having a baby is fantastic source of entertainment. Granted, it is a lot of hard work, but you can't help but smile at some of the things they do. Lydia sits (and occassionally sleeps) on a sort of bean-bag designed for babies in our living room, and it's great to just sit near her and watch as she pulls a variety of faces while she sleeps. I guess this must be her way of practising the various facial expressions that she will use as she gets older and starts to discover more about the world.

Happy baby or gassy baby?

From grimaces to smiles, and looks of surprise to looks of pain, it is often more entertaining to watch her than to watch the TV. Even though Lydia is asleep, her little arms and legs move around like they have minds of their own, giving the impression that she is dreaming about starring in a kung fu movie.

Lydia also makes a lot of noise while she dreams, emitting little squeeks and heaving tiny little sighs. She even seems to occassionally laugh in her sleep, a short giggling noise that surprised us as we hadn't heard it before. I know that at 3 weeks old any smiles or laughs are probably just gas, but it is still very cute to see.

The other day I sat next to her bean bag and asked her a question (probably something along the lines of "have you done a poo-poo for mummy?"), and she looked straight into my eyes, frowned, and then brought her clenched fist up slowly in my direction. Less than a month old and she's already threatening her father. Looks like her teenage years might be fun!

When will it happen?

In our attempts at preparing for the moment when our family grows, we have got absolutely everything ready for the baby: a fully-furnished and decorated room, plenty of clothes and toys, a pushchair, car seat, a baby bath and various creams and products to clean and care for the little guy. The only thing that is missing is the baby himself.

At the time of writing, the baby is now two days overdue. Not that I blame him* for that, however, as I can understand the attraction of staying in the warm, comfortable home that he has made inside his mum instead of forcing his way out into a big, scary world, especially when you have to squeeze your entire body through a tiny little hole (possibly the equivalent of us trying to fit our head into an empty toilet roll?).

We had the nine month control checkup at the hospital this week (on the due date), to make sure the baby is well and that there are no problems. I think that we were both secretly hoping that they would say to us, "we need to induce this baby NOW" so that we could finally meet the little guy. Instead, they basically told us that the baby is doing well, and to come back in a week's time. That, my friends, is a very long time to wait.

A bit too much sun...

Last weekend the weather men (and women) all predicted clear skies with lots of sun and temperatures of up to 24°C. Given that it was chilly and wintery only a few weeks ago, this was the perfect opportunity for us to get outside and really enjoy some fresh air.


Enjoying the sun and the
view at Signal de Bougy

So, Chris and I headed to a place called Signal de Bougy, which is north of Rolle in the Canton Vaud (and roughly 20 minutes by car from where we live). Chris had been here in the past with her family when she was younger, and remembered it as a very nice place to spend a few hours.

She was right - masses of open parkland, plenty of outdoor playgrounds and games areas for the kids, a restaurant and several wooded areas make Signal de Bougy an ideal place to come, especially for kids (must make a mental note of this for future reference).

Buying a New Car - Part II

On Saturday March 6^th, Christelle, Bernard and I headed to Geneva for the car show. Luckily, Bernard had forced us to wake up very early to get to the exhibition before the doors opened, as there were already a large number of people waiting to get in. Once inside, we headed straight for the Ford display (making a point of ignoring the Peugeot stand), and proceeded to look at the Ford Focus.

Unfortunately, they did not have the estate version on display, so we had to content ourselves with the hatchback version. I thought the car was really nice, and was definitely a contender for the job.

From there, we next headed to the Mazda stand, with Chris practically running towards it like an excited child in a toyshop. There, on a spinning display stand, was the Mazda6, the object of Chris’ affections. I have to admit, it was a darn good looking car, with the design of the LED lights at the rear and the Bi-Xenon headlights at the front increasing the car’s appeal.

Buying a New Car - Part I

For most people, the process of buying a new car is a pleasant experience, at least until the bill arrives through the letter box. It is an opportunity to take the time to find cars that suit you, both aesthetically and economically (and ecologically, if being green is your thing), and involves garage visits and test drives before choosing the perfect match. For me, however, it was a bit more complicated than that.

The Job Search - Part IV

The next day – “decision day” – came and went with no word from the HR guy. Christelle was worried that they had found something in the integrity test that showed me in a bad light, meaning the company did not want to employ me anymore.

I tried to calm her fears (and my own) by saying that the guy is probably just busy, or maybe hasn’t had a chance to review the test results yet. I busied myself with research on the Geneva bank, with whom I had the second interview planned for the Thursday afternoon.

We decided to wait until 11am the next morning before I would then call the Prilly HR guy to ask for an update, and spent the evening trying not to think negative thoughts.

The Job Search - Part III

A tiny speck of light then broke through the darkening clouds of uncertainty – I received another voicemail message from the Prilly guy, who invited me for an interview the next day. I called him back saying I was available, and we set a time.

Gutted about being turned down for one job, I tried to concentrate my thoughts on preparing for my next interview, and spent the rest of the day thoroughly researching everything I could about this company. I wanted to make sure I could calmly and confidently speak about their line of work during the interview, and show real motivation for the job.

Dressed up for my interview

The day of the interview came, and I headed to the company’s office to meet with the HR guy. He was really friendly and we chatted briefly before we went into the meeting, where we were joined by the manager of the team I could be working for. During the interview I spoke about myself and my experiences, listened intently to their descriptions of the role and the company, and then asked them questions that I had prepared prior to the interview.

I had a very good feeling after the interview, as I thought I had presented myself as honestly as possible, making sure to explain why I would be the perfect candidate for the job. Part of the interview was conducted in French, and I did not hesitate to tell them that, while I am by no means fluent in the language, I have a good understanding of it and am improving all the time.

At the end of the interview, the HR guy asked me to email him with my feedback, so they could compare my view of how the interview went with their own thoughts. I left the building in a far more confident mood than I had in Fribourg, and treated myself to a McDonalds. My positive thoughts were doing their best to push the negative ones out of my mind, and the large Big Mac meal gave them a helping hand.

The Job Search - Part II

At the start of January I waited for a call from the Fribourg HR lady to arrange a date for my interview. A couple of working days had passed, and I had heard nothing back. Once again anxious, I told myself that maybe they were still struggling to arrange the date with the directors, especially coming so close after the holiday period.

A couple more days passed with no news, and the anxiety level began to grow (the old adage, “no news is good news”, does not apply to job hunting). I made another call to the company and found out that the HR lady was not due to return from holiday for another couple of days – this helped me to relax a bit, and calmed our fears that the company had decided to reject me over Christmas (images of a director shouting “no” into his mobile phone whilst skiing down a Swiss mountainside flash through the mind).

Finding Somewhere to Live - Part III

Early in the next week, the delivery company dropped off the sofa and the flat-packed bed and wardrobe as scheduled, and we asked Bernard and Chris’ cousin Stephane (a professional carpenter) to come over the following weekend and give us a hand building the furniture.

The plan was for us to construct the bed, and wardrobe on the Saturday, so that our first night of sleeping in the apartment would be that night. Chris and I were very excited about the prospect of finally spending a night in our own place, having had the keys since the start of the month.

 

 Above: Photos of our finished living room

Finding Somewhere to Live - Part II

Whilst back in Switzerland after New Year, and still awaiting further news from the estate agent, Nelly informed us that one of her colleagues owned several apartments in Lausanne and the surrounding areas, and that she had mentioned one that had become available in Bussigny, a village to the west of Lausanne. The price fitted into our budget, and it was described as a 3 pièce, so it sounded pretty good.

What sounded good turned out to look great – Bussigny itself is a nice little village, and the apartment was fantastically well positioned being only a 3 minute walk to the train station, plus local shops, bakers, butchers and restaurants only a short stroll from the apartment.

The building consisted of just six apartments, spread over three floors, making a nice chance from some of the more densely populated areas of Lausanne that we had visited previously. Nelly’s colleague, Anita, let us into the apartment and we could immediately see the potential.

Finding Somewhere to Live - Part I

When most couples take their first steps in their new married life, they usually move in together (if they weren’t already living together before) and start dreaming about all the things they can do as husband and wife, such as starting a family or planning holidays or home improvements.

Unfortunately, Christelle and I are not like most couples; our relationship has never been conventional – coming from different countries, meeting on the other side of the world, living in separate countries for two years, etc – and our married life would also start in an unusual way.

Two days after we tied the knot, I flew back to England and left my new wife in Switzerland, 580 miles away. Some couples who have been married a long time might be thankful to put that kind of distance between them and their partner, but for newlyweds it is somewhat more difficult. As September ended, so did my time as a UK resident, as it was now time to drive over to Switzerland to really start our married life, something else that perhaps makes our relationship unique.

A Very Reed-Peck Christmas

To pick up where my last blog left off – more than three months ago – the preparations for Christmas were in full swing. Christelle and I had already booked our tickets to take an easyJet flight over to England on the 22nd December, coming back on the 31st December to spend New Year in Switzerland, and were looking forward to a fun, yet relaxing festive holiday after a very busy 2009 (including a wedding and moving countries).

It was to be a unique Christmas for the Reed-Peck family, as for the first time in several years all of the “children” would be staying at their parents’ house from Christmas Eve through until Boxing Day (and some of us even longer than that). To make it even more special, the various partners of the Reed-Peck children would also be there, giving us a grand total of 9 people celebrating Christmas under one roof. Imagine the piles of washing up…

Sixty Days in Suisse - Part IX

Grimaces, Gourmet and Games



My Permis B, complete with psycho stare photo

As I write this blog I am now in my ninth week of being a Swiss resident, and finally received my Permis B (the document that shows I am legally allowed to work in Switzerland). I popped down to the SPOP in Lausanne to collect the document, and luckily I didn’t have to pay any extra administration fees, apart from the 8.- CHF for a passport photo to affix to the permit.

Admittedly it isn’t the greatest photo of me ever, as it looks like I had just been told some exceedingly bad news. The reason for the grimace is that the photo booth had a warning that said “Do Not Smile”, so I didn’t. The end result is a very grumpy looking work permit, but at least that grumpy person can now proudly tell prospective employers that he can work for them (legally).

Sixty Days in Suisse - Part VIII

Waiters, Wine and Winnings



Julien from Secret Story



After the restful and stress-free previous week, my eighth Swiss week was a bit more active.

Aside from a bit more job searching, we also headed out for a meal with Chris’ friends Anne-Marie and Kelly at a Tapas restaurant called “Chez Mathilde”, that is owned and run by a guy who was in the French version of Big Brother (“Secret Story”) a couple of years ago.

I did a bit of research and it looks like this bloke, Julien Colas, made it to week 5 of the show in 2007 before he was evicted. I guess being a reality TV show failure pays well if he managed to buy his own restaurant.

Anyway, the food at the restaurant was ok – I don’t think I would go back there any time soon. I took a few tapas dishes, and considering how much I paid (33 CHF) I really didn’t think it was worth the money.

The evening itself was good though, with good company and a trip to a bar for a bit of salsa dancing afterwards. Admittedly I am a rubbish dancer – I lost count of the number of times I stood on Chris’ feet – but managed to stop myself from whipping out the Moonwalk as I didn’t want to look like a complete idiot.